“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Philippians 4:8
What a difference a restful night and some perspective have on things. While Sam is still not completely back to normal, he has not vomited since yesterday and he is a happy little person! I could practically hear Nate’s smile through the phone this morning! I woke up with a little more energy than usual, something I haven’t felt in a while. Praise God for a new day!
I thought I’d take this opportunity to share, and maybe dispell some of the misconceptions wrapped around cancer and the treatment of this terrible thing that so many people unfortunately have to endure. It seems to be a mystical weirdness that invades random people, but just because it is a cancer, does not mean it is always treated the same way. Some types of cancer require surgery, some chemotherapy, and others radiation while still others require a combination or all of those things. You would be amazed, if cancer is a foreign mystery to you, how many drugs and treatments there are. It is not a universal system people go into like a funnel once they receive the big CANCER diagnosis. While my form of cancer is among “the least of these” in the cancer world, it still has to be treated once discovered. It still has the potential to spread and do harmful things to the rest of my body. However, I was not sick or having any ill effects when it was discovered, nor do I “feel” sick now. The weight loss I was experiencing was exclusively related to my diet and breastfeeding. I have put a little weight back on, and that has been a huge praise!
So many times, and I believe my patients would agree with me, the treatment is so much worse than the illness. Do not get me wrong, cancer can cause pain, discomfort and so many terrible things in the human body, but I have seen the effects of chemotherapy and radiation. It’s mean stuff, and it does not always work the first, second or, in some unfortunate cases, any subsequent time.
I feel very fortunate that so far (and hopefully ever), all that is required for me to be rid of thyroid cancer is surgery to remove my thyroid and to swallow one radioactive pill. Done and done. Surgery was awful, and the pill itself wasn’t actually a terrible experience. The fear that came with both of those, the nightmares leading up to each, the hypocalcemia, going on and off hormone replacements, eating a strict diet, and being dizzy from low blood pressure from said diet were what ended up being the most difficult in my personal experience.
No, the pill did not make me glow green as I joked it would with my family and friends. There is not a radioactive beam shining from my neck. I am not my own personal flashlight. But honestly, it would have made life a little more interesting!
The most life changing effect on me physically was the removal of my thyroid gland. The scar will fad, the swelling will go down and my voice will eventually not crack at certain pitches, but I will have to take a thyroid replacement hormone every day for the rest of my life. Yes, I’m making that out to sound like a tragedy. It’s not. People even without thyroid cancer have to take this same medicine every day due to issues with their functioning thyroid glands. It’s not an uncommon drug to take. Though, being off of it without a thyroid gland was difficult!
Did you know that your thyroid controls your metabolism and regulates your body temperature, along with energy conservation and usage? I had to stop taking Synthroid on March 31st, and will not restart it until April 28th. Add a toddler to that mix, and I praised God every day that he napped more than an hour! Because that meant my nap could be more than an hour.
I’m not writing this to make you more (or possibly less) sympathetic toward me, but instead as information. I’ve had so many people tell me that I “look good considering my illness” or ask “should you do that in your condition?” The truth is, while I must stay away from my family while I’m radioactive, it is for their protection not mine. My immune system is not compromised, my hair did not/will not all fall out, and the chances of this cancer returning or having spread through my body is very minimal (though possible, so pray against that please!)
When God called me to be a nurse and then to the specialty of oncology, I knew there were reasons beyond my understanding. This journey is possibly one of them. The diagnosis of cancer does not mean imminent death. However, no matter who you are, your life will end at some point. That’s just a fact. The only steadfast thing I know is God. I cling to Him who has saved me with all my might knowing that this cancer may not kill me, but something else beyond my control or foresight could. We are not permanent on this earth.
Hold close the ones you love. Hug cancer patients. You can’t catch cancer like a cold or the stomach flu. Please look beyond the diagnosis that is sometimes hung above their head like a neon warning sign, and ask about real life. Not everyone with cancer walks around bald, looking sick all the time.
Care for the caregivers. My husband has been through a world of emotions, fears and worries that I cannot begin to comprehend! We are so fortunate to have the people around us that we do. Not everyone is as blessed with family and a community of friends like we are, though. You never know when your actions, big or small, will help. There were many times that I could not “be there” for Nate either because I was in my own emotional state, or I just plain did not understand what he was experiencing. I am so thankful for the many friends that have come alongside both of us and supported us in unique ways, and also understand when we need some alone time.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! We so appreciate your prayers and encouraging words as we trudge or skip (depending on the day) down this crazy path that God has set before us. May He be glorified through this trial and far beyond what we can ever imagine! We are so glad to remember that this is another season of life, another curve in the road, and that as long as we focus on what is important, then we will make it to see the promised rainbow after the storm!
Love,
Beth
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