Isolation Day 7 - Last Post Until Tuesday!

"If you say, 'The Lord is my refuge,' and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent."

Psalm 91:9-10

I am not a bible scholar, and I am definitely not a teacher.  I pray everyone that reads this is aware that I have used various scriptures throughout this journey to convey the strength I derive from God's written word.  This particular scripture, you may find odd to use because, sure, I'm not in a tent, but cancer may be considered a "disaster."  How dare I use this?!  Well, let me explain why.

So much of the bible is written as a document of historical events, letters, songs, and experiences that people in the past went through.  This Psalm was not written by me, or even specifically for me.  It may have been written by Moses, but I know that God can use the words of someone else to encourage me, and help me understand His character better.  It is so important to understand scripture better by reading entire chapters or books.  

My personal goal in writing through my experience is that God's character and power would be revealed for someone else too.  I am not writing a bible, these words are not the word of God, but I apply God's word to my life and take refuge in Him, knowing that I can find strength in other people's experiences as I hope someone can find His strength in what I've written.  I'm sure this post can be misconstrued terribly, but I pray it isn't, and that the heart of my message is received!  Thank you Roxanne for sharing this Psalm with me this morning!

Today is my last day of isolation.  Tomorrow morning, I will use Clorox wipes to clean everything I've touched in the last 7 days, and climb in my car that I haven't started in as much time, and pray that my scan comes back clean.  My biggest, most important prayer request though, is that the little Geiger counter that the technician waves in front of me will not beep near my body at all, meaning I am no longer a radioactive threat to my family!

I probably will not write another post until Tuesday after I get my results.  So please, join with me in praying over my reunion with Nate and Sam, my experience at the hospital tomorrow morning, and a clean bill of health to make this entire experience become a thing of the past very quickly!

Thank you so much for reading and journeying along with me.  Thank you for praying and encouraging me to continue seeking God's hand of strength, grace and mercy.  I pray that you find refuge in Him today.  

Happy Sunday, friends!

Love,

Beth

Isolation Day 6

"If I say, 'I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,' there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot."

Jeremiah 20:9

This verse is dear to my heart.  I first read it when I was studying at Simpson Bible College (now Simpson University) in Redding, California, and I remember what an impact those words had on me.  Even though the prophet Jeremiah was being mocked for speaking what the Lord told him to say, he could not contain it as if it were a fire in his very being that had to be spoken.  Talk about a burning passion for something, and God's word of all amazing things!

I have one full day left of isolation.  Praise God!!!  I have been able to be within three feet of my parents and my sister for about two hours at a time, I still pose a risk to children under the age of five...  including those in utero.  I have had so much time to reflect on God's word, but I will be glad to get back to "normal" life after my full body scan.  Aside from a clean bill of health (the scan is Monday morning, but I probably won't have results until Tuesday), my prayer is that God will continue to allow me to see Him in the daily tasks ahead.  Whether it is a full at day home in ministry to my son, or to my husband, or to a friend, or even just (I say that somewhat sarcastically, noting the very weight that word lacks) just time spent with my God in prayer.

I have countless who people have comment on my strength through all of this.  Let me let you in on a little secret...  I have none.  I am a very weak person, prone to crumble at the slightest obstacle, and I have done so many, many times in the past.  I am passive aggressive by nature, and I can put up an amazing front.  I had a friend in college dumbfounded once.  I was crying over a devastating event, but smiling.  What?!  Yes, that's kind of creepy, and a totally weird and random coping mechanism.  I smile naturally, all the time.  I tune out people who raise their voice at me not out of disrespect, but because I figure if they are that worked up, they should probably not be taken seriously until they can gather themselves because they are probably not thinking straight.  I communicate serious matters better through writing or typing my thoughts.  I started my first journal when I was ten years old (thanks for realizing I needed an outlet, Mom).  I have also learned that this is not always the best way to resolve conflicts with people who don't respond well to writing, and I have slowly (and I mean s l o w l y) learned to verbalize my responses even if sometimes, most times, they come too late!  However, writing is how God created me to process my thoughts best. I probably won't keep this particular blog up after Tuesday, in fact, that is my ultimate hope!  I am a more private person, and prefer to write my innermost thoughts in a journal instead of for the entire world to see.  God placed this matter on my heart to share.  Because of that, you are currently reading the byproduct of my main coping source throughout this particular trial.

So, back to strength, it is by God's strength alone that I am getting through all of this.  I have felt the peace that the bible mentions.  The "peace that surpasses all understanding" (Philippians 4:7), and it is truly beyond my comprehension how I can be at complete peace in the midst of the proverbial storm.  I know God goes before me, and sometimes only shines the light far enough for me to safely see my next step instead of the next ten feet, but He has never failed me.  I have known Him longer than any other friend, and He has never left me.  I know that I am always welcome back in His unconditional arms of love and safety.  While I fully believe that He is allowing my family and me to be faced with this unfortunate situation, He loves us enough to rescue us daily, one step at a time. Thank you Cerise, for the reminder!

That is the only way I can give my family, my friends, my acquaintances into His care.  He is the One who holds them tightly.  He is strength in me, because I am a weak, broken person who needs just as much saving as anyone else.  I have definitely not learned to surrender the first time, or ever in some cases.  I am a stubborn child, and have still been known to throw temper tantrums in the presence of my God, but I imagine Him doing what I do with Sam sometimes...  Crossing his arms, looking down at me with a slightly disappointed look on His face, and saying, "are you done?  Because, I have something better for you if you'd just listen!"  And I'm sure I look at him with about as much understanding as Sam looks at me!

When you think of the strength I have, please think instead of the strength that God provides because I'm just borrowing His.  Think of the fire that He can place inside your heart to burn for a passion worth living and speaking (or writing in my case).  I continue to pray that God will be glorified through this trial, and that you will find encouragement and seek your own refuge in strength that comes from God alone!

Love,
Beth

Isolation Day 5

"He said, 'Come.' So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.'"

Matthew 14: 29-30

I love that story!  Even when we have no faith, Jesus still reaches out His hand to save us.  We just have to surrender and know He will!  I'm sitting in my little spot in my parent's garage with the door open, a cup of chamomile tea in one hand, and I'm listening to a beautiful spring rain and the Spotify playlist I made the other day.  Every song on there has been a source of encouragement to me during some trial or life changing experience.  Every song points back to God's grace and reminds me that I am not alone in anything I face.  The running theme?  Water.  Rain.  Storms.  Being pulled back to the surface when I can't get there on my own, and remembering that water washes away the old and brings new life.  The Living Water that sustains me in this life.

I have been praying for so many people during this week.  My days have been filled with so many emotions: joy, fear, peace and heartache to name some.  I prayed before this week started that I would have quality time with the Lord, seeking him as my refuge.  What a sweet time it has been so far!  It is also a good reminder that I need to find those moments in my every day life where I can seek him deeply.  Two places I have felt most connected to the Lord have always been this little apartment or near the ocean.  I remember getting out of my car at the beach one day a few years ago, and the moment I smelled the ocean I wept.  It was a joyful, fearful, peaceful, heartache kind of weeping. A day of surrender to the Lord.  True surrender is a sweet, powerful, comforting feeling.  Knowing that God is in control of it all, and that He only wants the best for us is unfortunately a scary and difficult thing to accept on a regular basis!

Please pray for me physically.  My taste buds are still a little off.  It's strange to eat anything relatively sweet and have it taste so sweet that it makes me queasy sometimes.  Not every time, so it's been kind of a guessing game.  My parents have totally spoiled me in providing foods I request each day since I've been off my low-iodine diet.  If you know me at all, you know I like to bake and cook, but I love to eat!  Having a full stomach has been a huge blessing.  Also, please continue to pray for Monday that enough radiation has left my body that I can go home, and that the scan shows no cancer anywhere in my body.  While there may have been some residual thyroid tissue in my neck (an expectation after the thyroidectomy), please pray that the iodine did not find it anywhere else!

Please pray for Nate and Sam.  I am officially, physically the furthest I've ever been from Sam, and today marks the longest amount of time that I've gone without seeing Nate in person since the day we met in 2007.  Please pray for their safety and a wonderful little adventure together.  Sam is finally mostly better with only an occasional croupy cough.  I am praising God for His hand of healing over my son.  Please also pray that Nate would remain healthy through the weekend and beyond.

Thank you for praying for us!  I hope you enjoy the rain today if it is raining where you are!  If you'd like to check out the Spotify playlist I made, you can find it here: Promises.  I know some of the songs might seem strange to you, but each one is dear to my heart for one reason or another.  I encourage you to make your own encouraging mix if you like to do that sort of thing.

As always, I pray that God is glorified through all of this.  I pray that He will meet you in your trials as He has met me time and time again, and that you will find comfort in His peaceful embrace.  He is a mighty, powerful, gentle, loving God!

Love,
Beth

Isolation Day 4

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” 

Philippians 4:8

What a difference a restful night and some perspective have on things. While Sam is still not completely back to normal, he has not vomited since yesterday and he is a happy little person! I could practically hear Nate’s smile through the phone this morning! I woke up with a little more energy than usual, something I haven’t felt in a while. Praise God for a new day!

I thought I’d take this opportunity to share, and maybe dispell some of the misconceptions wrapped around cancer and the treatment of this terrible thing that so many people unfortunately have to endure. It seems to be a mystical weirdness that invades random people, but just because it is a cancer, does not mean it is always treated the same way.  Some types of cancer require surgery, some chemotherapy, and others radiation while still others require a combination or all of those things.  You would be amazed, if cancer is a foreign mystery to you, how many drugs and treatments there are.  It is not a universal system people go into like a funnel once they receive the big CANCER diagnosis.  While my form of cancer is among “the least of these” in the cancer world, it still has to be treated once discovered. It still has the potential to spread and do harmful things to the rest of my body. However, I was not sick or having any ill effects when it was discovered, nor do I “feel” sick now.  The weight loss I was experiencing was exclusively related to my diet and breastfeeding.  I have put a little weight back on, and that has been a huge praise!

So many times, and I believe my patients would agree with me, the treatment is so much worse than the illness. Do not get me wrong, cancer can cause pain, discomfort and so many terrible things in the human body, but I have seen the effects of chemotherapy and radiation. It’s mean stuff, and it does not always work the first, second or, in some unfortunate cases, any subsequent time.

I feel very fortunate that so far (and hopefully ever), all that is required for me to be rid of thyroid cancer is surgery to remove my thyroid and to swallow one radioactive pill. Done and done. Surgery was awful, and the pill itself wasn’t actually a terrible experience. The fear that came with both of those, the nightmares leading up to each, the hypocalcemia, going on and off hormone replacements, eating a strict diet, and being dizzy from low blood pressure from said diet were what ended up being the most difficult in my personal experience.

No, the pill did not make me glow green as I joked it would with my family and friends. There is not a radioactive beam shining from my neck. I am not my own personal flashlight. But honestly, it would have made life a little more interesting!

The most life changing effect on me physically was the removal of my thyroid gland. The scar will fad, the swelling will go down and my voice will eventually not crack at certain pitches, but I will have to take a thyroid replacement hormone every day for the rest of my life. Yes, I’m making that out to sound like a tragedy. It’s not. People even without thyroid cancer have to take this same medicine every day due to issues with their functioning thyroid glands. It’s not an uncommon drug to take. Though, being off of it without a thyroid gland was difficult!

Did you know that your thyroid controls your metabolism and regulates your body temperature, along with energy conservation and usage? I had to stop taking Synthroid on March 31st, and will not restart it until April 28th. Add a toddler to that mix, and I praised God every day that he napped more than an hour! Because that meant my nap could be more than an hour.

I’m not writing this to make you more (or possibly less) sympathetic toward me, but instead as information. I’ve had so many people tell me that I “look good considering my illness” or ask “should you do that in your condition?” The truth is, while I must stay away from my family while I’m radioactive, it is for their protection not mine. My immune system is not compromised, my hair did not/will not all fall out, and the chances of this cancer returning or having spread through my body is very minimal (though possible, so pray against that please!)

When God called me to be a nurse and then to the specialty of oncology, I knew there were reasons beyond my understanding. This journey is possibly one of them. The diagnosis of cancer does not mean imminent death. However, no matter who you are, your life will end at some point. That’s just a fact. The only steadfast thing I know is God. I cling to Him who has saved me with all my might knowing that this cancer may not kill me, but something else beyond my control or foresight could.  We are not permanent on this earth.

Hold close the ones you love. Hug cancer patients. You can’t catch cancer like a cold or the stomach flu. Please look beyond the diagnosis that is sometimes hung above their head like a neon warning sign, and ask about real life. Not everyone with cancer walks around bald, looking sick all the time.

Care for the caregivers. My husband has been through a world of emotions, fears and worries that I cannot begin to comprehend! We are so fortunate to have the people around us that we do. Not everyone is as blessed with family and a community of friends like we are, though. You never know when your actions, big or small, will help. There were many times that I could not “be there” for Nate either because I was in my own emotional state, or I just plain did not understand what he was experiencing. I am so thankful for the many friends that have come alongside both of us and supported us in unique ways, and also understand when we need some alone time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! We so appreciate your prayers and encouraging words as we trudge or skip (depending on the day) down this crazy path that God has set before us. May He be glorified through this trial and far beyond what we can ever imagine! We are so glad to remember that this is another season of life, another curve in the road, and that as long as we focus on what is important, then we will make it to see the promised rainbow after the storm!

Love,
Beth

Isolation Day 3

"How many times have you heard me cry out,

'God please take this'?"

Need You Now by Plumb

When Nate and I went to Kauai a couple years ago, everything went wrong in the first 24 hours.  Our first flight was delayed, there was a mix up with our hotel when we finally arrived in the middle of the night, our key to our room wouldn't work, and so much more.  The next morning, I'd had it!  I prayed out of frustration "Lord, please let the rest of this trip go flawlessly, this is too much! And, I want free breakfast!"  When we checked into the correct hotel not even ten minutes later, the woman behind the counter said "we are so sorry for all you've been through, here are two vouchers for breakfast!"  I don't know that I had ever had a prayer answered so fast in all my life, and so obviously to say "I'm taking care of you, calm down!"  I find unimaginable hope in the fact that God has taken care of us time and time again, when we've asked and when we haven't, when we wanted and when we didn't want.  We serve a good God who chooses to bless and love us.

While I didn't share a verse today, I'm sharing some lyrics to the song Nate listened to while I was in surgery to have my thyroid removed.  This was Nate's way of expressing this trial has been "too much."  We've always connected over music, and so many scriptures were written as songs, inspire songs, or are put to modern music. This is a good one for this season of our life.  I feel like there is a gravity that music has on the soul, and that it is used as a sweet communication that can bring us closer to God.  "Our song" has changed over the years depending on our season of life, and I have to say I'm pleased to add the one above to the soundtrack of our marriage.  However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I hope for some happier, upbeat tracks in the years to come!  

Today was a rough day for all of us, to express things mildly.  Sam was a coughing, vomiting mess, and Nate called in his mom for reinforcements.  He is pretty much a rockstar and has handled things with patience and a grace that I truly admire.  Thank you, Nathan, for stepping up and taking such wonderful care of our son. 

Please pray for Sam's continued healing, that Nate won't have to administer the steroid that the doctor prescribed to keep on hand if his coughing gets too bad, and that Nate would continue to have a positive outlook on this week.  It is a very helpless feeling to be only 35 miles away from my husband and child and not be able to be by their side. I have to surrender both of them into the Lord's care over and over all day long!  However, it is a very powerful thing to know that the God of the heavens and the earth has strategically placed people in our lives to make these times easier in ways we don't expect!

Blessings from today:

~Dani, thank you for being an excellent delivery service to my boys today.  I knew Nate would not be getting out of the house to get some necessities for Sam, and what made it worse was that he'd been up since 5 with no coffee!  You are an amazing friend and blessing.  It brought me peace knowing that Nate could open the front door and find you standing there with coffee and other goodies!  We are so incredibly lucky to have you in our lives, and I am daily thankful that God arranged our friendship the way he did almost 5 years ago!  You will never know how deeply your actions touched my heart today.

~Lauren/Mom(in-law) thank you for being an extra set of hands and for relieving Nate today.  It was so nice to see Sam get so excited that you are there when we chatted on FaceTime earlier.  Thank you for letting Nate shower and have a few moments alone without worrying about Sam.  It means so much to all three of us!

~Erin!  What a blessing that the Lord provided my first meal off of my "special diet" through you.  Thank you so much for your generosity and kind words.  My taste buds danced!  Is that weird?  Seriously delicious food!!!

~The Rey Family, thank you for stopping my boys on their walk to pray for them and me!  Wow!  You brought tears to this mama's eyes.  We are so blessed to have one of the incredible pastors from our church live so close, and to pray over our little family.  Calvary SLO has really come alongside us with a wonderful community of friends and prayer warriors.

~My co-workers, thank you for being flexible and always checking on me.  You are my family away from family.  I love you guys!

~My parents and sister, thanks for letting me interrupt you throughout the day with stupid questions about wi-fi and for food deliveries, and even for backup to go help Nate.  This week will be on the record books for our family.

~Everyone who reads this blog.  Whether you are praying for us, thinking good thoughts, or just reading, thank you for taking time from your day to see how we are doing.

While this week could be going terribly worse, I'm glad it is 3 days over.  I am feeling better today physically, less nauseous, and happy to eat "real" food!  I learned a lot from the low-iodine diet, many clean eating tips that I will continue, but man, the convenience of frozen vegetables when you have a crazy 15 month old is a beautiful thing! Who knew iodine was in so many foods?!

Sam has been asleep for a little while now, and so far hasn't had any problems per Nate.  My mother-in-law is staying the night, so that will be a huge help for Nate if Sam is awake during the night!  Please pray he sleeps vomit free!  I know Nate is tired of laundry and being sleep-deprived!

Thank you for your continued prayers on this journey!  I am so thankful for the resources God has blessed us with.  May He receive all the glory on the good days and the bad ones too!!!

Love,
Beth

Isolation Day 2

"How lovely is your dwelling place, 

Lord Almighty!"

Psalm 84:1

This is one of my favorite Psalms.  It was also a very popular worship song when I moved home from Simpson College in 2001 and began working for Lifewater, International.  Being back in my old room has brought back some wonderful memories of my past.  Memories of when God was moving in my life in beautiful, obvious, sometimes scary ways.  It is such a blessing to my heart to meditate on these words, and feel the peace that only God can provide in a time like this.

Sam is feeling better today, and Nate said they both slept great last night.  Sam even slept in a little!  That kid is usually up early, like clockwork.  So, thank you for all your prayers.  We feel so covered and blessed.  Nate sent me a text earlier today saying that he felt like he'd just started breathing normal again.  I felt like I started to relax a little more today than I have in a few months also.  Again, thank you for your prayers!  It was so nice to know all three of us slept well last night.  I didn't have any nightmares or crazy dreams for the first time in months either!  Yay!

I spent the morning pretty nauseous and ended up getting sick once.  That was unfortunate, but at least I felt a little better, and I have substantially improved throughout the day.  The doctor said not to worry, since my body would have absorbed all of the radiation before that point.  The rest of my day was spent reading and praying.  I even managed a two hour nap!  I apologize for not responding to emails or Facebook yet.  I'm trying to limit my screen time partly due to contamination of devices, and also lack of energy.  I will not be able to restart my Synthroid until after my scan on Monday.

I had a few deliveries today.  My grandma's sweet face appeared before the apartment window with the cutest bouquet from her garden.  She then set it down and hurried away as if she was performing a "ding-dong-ditch" prank.  If I was half the gardener my grandma is, I'd be a happy girl!  She proclaimed proudly later through a text that the tiny carnations were from the plant we gave her for Mother's Day last year.  I placed them next to the roses from my mom's garden that my dad put in the room before I got here yesterday.  This afternoon, a delivery of bright pink roses arrived from my in-laws.  This place is looking awfully cheerful, and they all smell so nice.

My mom brought some tea and Tums to my doorstep this evening, and our good friends, the Bartsches, brought dinner for Nate.  We have received text messages, emails and phone calls from so many people checking in on us.  What a blessing!

Prayers for the remaining days?  Please pray that Sam will continue to improve and that he won't miss me too much.  I could tell he was starting to get sad when we FaceTimed tonight, and Nate said he's been asking for me more.  While I'm glad he misses me, I don't want it to make Nate's time with him difficult.  I know he and Nate are having a lot of fun, and they are making a lot of great memories together.  Please pray that my test on Monday comes back clean, and that the amount of radiation left in my body is small enough that it won't be a problem to return home to my guys.  This is the longest I will be away from Sam since we found out I was pregnant, and the longest I'll be away from Nate since the day we met!  Lastly, please pray that my taste wouldn't change too much or for too long.  While I'm craving certain foods since I started the low-iodine diet, I know they may not taste how I want them to once I'm able to eat them again.  I just hope I can keep up the ten pound weight gain I accomplished since I stopped nursing Sam.  It's hard to eat when nothing tastes right.

May God continue to be glorified through this trial!  I hope my story can bring encouragement to you in some way.  If you have sent me a message and I have not responded yet, please know that I am trying to spend as little time on the computer and phone as possible for these first few days.  I feel these blog posts are important to update everyone all at once, and I will get around to responding!

Love,
Beth

Isolation Day 1

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the Lord.  For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." and he worshiped the Lord there."

1 Samuel 1:27-28

How closely I can relate to Hannah's heart!  The very chapter, just verses earlier, contain her desire to have a child, and the Lord abundantly blessing her with a son named Samuel (the reason for our son's name).  I've heard many times to hold things loosely, since you never know when they will be taken away, replaced, or completely out of your control.  My husband and my son are currently taken away in a sense.  I'm really the one that's been removed, I know.  However, I place complete trust and faith in the Lord to provide for them, knowing their well-being and happiness is ultimately never really in my control.  Though, today it is much harder to open my hands and say "they're yours, they always are and always will be!"

This morning I prayed over my son, with tear-filled eyes, asking and pleading with the Lord to watch over him and Nate until I can return home... radiation and cancer free!  How can you pray for our family?  For Nate: patience, energy and rest!  Sam had two spells of vomiting, and was diagnosed with croup this morning while I was at the hospital getting my treatment.  While we are unsure what is causing his little tummy rebellion (whether it is from croup, food, or worry), it's very disheartening to be away, and not have the choice to go home and help.  I spent two very long hours in the middle of the night rocking him, and then Nate took over because I was exhausted.  While I don't need energy this week, Nate does, so please pray for quick healing for Sam.  Lastly, for me, please pray that I will have increased peace not being with my guys.  It's hard enough knowing that I can't be there, but knowing that Sam is more dependent than usual (especially in the middle of the night), I am obviously going to worry more.

My experience at the hospital this morning was less than desirable for many reasons, but the goal was met.  I swallowed a green pill (not metallic or black like in my nightmares) that contained I-131 radioactive iodine, and drove straight to my parent's house where I will spend the next 3 days in complete solitude, and then the subsequent 5 days with "limited public exposure."  I'm praising God for the invention of FaceTime!

What does all this mean?  Well, basically, my body not only contains radiation, but it is also emitting it.  The technician had a tool to measure the distance of the radiation around my body.  At three feet the machine was going absolutely bonkers (a very technical term, I know), and at six feet away it calmed a little.  Let's just say, when I arrived at my parents' house, their dog didn't come running or barking toward the fence like she usually does.  It's weird how animals can sense those things.  The radiation tapers off quickly, but the same tool will be used on Monday to see how radioactive my body still is, and what kind of precautions (if any) I will still need to take.

Blessings (because this whole post can't be a downer!) 

~So far, I've only had a little nausea that my wonderful mother was able to remedy with a Sprite delivery to the doorstep of my current residence.  My parents have the space and willingness to let me stay in my old room.  I named it "the one car apartment" when I moved into it in 2001, but it is so much more than that.  While it contains an office space for my dad now, it was my little haven on and off for many years.  There is a skylight over the shower, a TV, wi-fi, and a comfy bed to sleep on.  A private space where I can make meals, sleep and occupy my time without exposing my loved ones to radiation.  I am so incredibly thankful for their generosity.  I can't complain about the view either!

~Our dear friends that live down the street brought dinner to Nate tonight!  Thank you, Sanchezes!!!

~The amazing support we have from our family and friends (near and far)!  All the offers we have had for people to stay with Nate and Sam has been an overwhelming blessing.  Even though we are not taking anyone up on their offers, it is nice to know we have so many people willing to sacrifice their time for our family!

~Our pray-ers!  Without you, I know that I would be sitting here in a heap crying my eyes out right now!  Thank you!  I know Nate and Sam will live to tell the tale of "The 24/7 Papa and The 15 Month Old."

Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post, and for your much needed prayer.  I apologize for being so wordy...  I've got a little bit of time on my hands!

Love,

Beth

Strength

"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."

Mark 12:30

The reference to this passage really stood out to me during church this last Sunday.  The part about strength.  It wasn't the main focus of the sermon, and was just a quick side note, but God spoke into my heart, reminding me that He is all my strength especially when my all isn't very much.  Yes, I'm totally taking this out of context!  However, as I sat there pondering the words, I realized how important strength is physically.  I need strength to lift my giant child, to get out of bed in the morning, and to eat, drink and breathe.  Even in my weakest moments, I am called to love God with all my strength.  I know this passage does not necessarily refer to physical strength, but it was a good reminder.  As long as I'm giving all of me, God fills in the gaps.  He knows my heart.  Right now my all is about 5% of my normal strength, but He is doing an excellent job of taking care of the other 95%!

I have to share a praise with you.  This may seem silly or trivial, but it has been seven whole days in a row that none of us have gone to a doctor or a pharmacy since the end of December.  If you think about it, that is a lot of visits, money and time.  Praise God with me, it has been a prayer of mine since February!

Please continue to pray for our family.  I stopped taking Synthroid a week and a half ago as directed by my doctor in preparation to undergo radioactive iodine treatment.  The first two days were great!  I had a ton of energy, but that quickly diminished on the third day and has been exponentially getting more difficult.  I try to nap when Sam does, but between sleeping in, 5+ cups of coffee and going to bed early, I'm still dragging and ready for a nap at a moment's notice!  I do not restart my medication until April 28th.  Please pray for endurance and wisdom as I juggle energy conservation, being a hormonal woman, and a very, very, very active one year old!

I began the low iodine diet on Monday.  This hasn't been too difficult since I am used to preparing most of our food anyway.  However, I tossed a frozen basil cube (thank you Trader Joe's for this helpful invention) into our dinner and then read the ingredients.  I expected basil and water, but instead found sea salt among the ingredients.  I was disappointed and ended up eating plain quinoa for dinner.  

I am trying to keep my calcium intake up since my little parathyroid glands are still recovering from the surgery (two months ago tomorrow).  I saw my surgeon a couple weeks ago since I was having some difficulty swallowing and I still experience tingling in my hands and face occasionally.  While it is normal to still have symptoms for a few months, I am not allowed to have dairy on the low iodine diet.  Please pray that my calcium levels would remain high enough to keep symptoms at bay and to not cause any damage to my heart or muscles.  I am eating calcium rich foods and taking supplements often as prescribed by my doctor.

Sam has been teething, dropping a nap and walking more and more.  Please pray for his little body.  He is so incredibly strong, and big, and full of life!  Please pray that we would not inhibit his growth during this time while we are stressed.  He has been very clingy to me lately as we are sure he can sense that something is going on as we prepare for my week away.  In turn it makes me worry that he will just be a total mess that week.  Please pray for Nate and Sam's time together.  Nate is an incredible father and I have no fears leaving Sam in his very capable hands, but not having relief at the end of the day will be exhausting for him.  Please bring them meals, call/text Nate, or invite them for a walk or to the park as you feel led!  I know Nate will appreciate it!

Thank you, as always, for your faithful prayers! I am excited to pray for you too as we all go on living this crazy life.  We are excited today to be praying for friends who are in labor with their first son, friends who are seeking the Lord's direction for their ministry as a family, and healing for many friends going through various illnesses.  What a blessing to pray for each other.  We are also very blessed by the many cards, emails, texts and phone calls we receive from all of you.  We continue to feel surrounded in prayer and the gift of family and friends.

Love,

Beth