Store Up The Good Things

"A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

Luke 6:45

I was going to write a long, flowery post about the tearful moments I've had over the last few days, but I believe that sort of thing should be reserved for handwritten journals and late night chats with girlfriends over coffee.  I'd be a liar, though, to make everyone believe that the last three days of recovery have been just perfect.  My prayer is that my words continue to be uplifting and glorifying to the One that gives life.

I was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday evening and arrived home around 6:30pm to the biggest smiles from Sam that I've ever seen.  He gave me sweet, one year old, only for mommy "kisses" all over my face.  My mom, who I strive to  be more like every day (especially after this experience) was glad to have me home too, and stayed an extra night with us so that Nate could go in to work for a few hours on Thursday.

My surgeon kept me on a high calcium diet and calcium supplements through Sunday night.  I see him again this Monday for a follow-up.  I was able to shower yesterday and remove the gauze from my incision site.  I still can't see the scar because it is covered with a steri-strip, but from what I can tell is it looks pretty good.  It's much smaller than I anticipated, and other than some soreness in my neck I am not having any pain.

I received a phone call on Thursday night from my oncologist (AKA my boss/friend), with my pathology results.  While they were less than favorable in the sense that I will have to undergo radioactive iodine, my prognosis is still the same and my cancer is still considered "stage one."  One lymph node had a very small spot of malignancy.  The good news in this, is that I may not have to be away from Nate and Sam quite as long as I'd anticipated due to only needing a low dose of radioactive iodine.  

Please pray:

1. Fast weaning of Sam.  I continued pumping in the hospital with the anticipation that I would still be able to nurse for a little while longer after surgery.  However, the radioactive iodine needs to be done sooner rather than later, and I have to be completely "dried up" to take it.  I spoke to the local lactation consultant yesterday and she seems to think we can get this all taken care of within a matter of a week or two!  Yay!

2. I'm an emotional mess.  While hormones get back in balance between weaning and transitioning to Synthroid (synthetic thyroid hormone), I have been crying at the drop of a hat, for no reason.  Nate is a rockstar, and says all the right comforting, loving things.  All while taking care of Sam, sometimes in the same breath.

3. I want Nate to have the support he needs both from friends and from me during this time.  While this is such a short time of our life in the grand scheme of things, I'm sure he feels caught in eternity in the middle of the night when I'm panicking about calcium levels and not being able to nurse our child any more.

4. My mom not only has the pressure of her oldest child going through a traumatic life event, but her youngest, my sister, is also going through thyroid testing.  She has an appointment on Wedensday that will determine if she will need a biopsy or surgery.  My mom is the epitome of selfless mothering, and the transition of care while I was in the hospital was practically seamless for Sam.  Nate and I are so thankful for the sacrifice she made to stay with us, to take care of Sam, and to make sure Nate was eating and sleeping when he wasn't at the hospital.

5. I will have blood work done on Monday afternoon to check my calcium levels.  I have to stop taking calcium Sunday night to see if my body is doing it's job.  My hope is that I do not have any cramping or tingling, and that my number comes back in the normal range!

6. Lastly, for the body scan after the radioactive iodine to come back clean!!!  We don't know when all of this will take place just yet, but we will know more after my follow-up with the surgeon and consultation with my oncologist, both happening on Monday.

I know that a lot of people reading this don't actually know me personally, but know our family or friends.  Thank you for supporting us and our support system during this time.  We have received cards, emails, phone calls, meals and flowers!  Thank you!  It's amazing to me that tomorrow will be only a month since I received the diagnosis of Thyroid Cancer.  It has been an incredibly long month packed with a lot of information, decisions and moments of fear and of peace.  Thank you, I know God has a plan for all of this!

Love,

Beth

Endurance

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on,  however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Hebrews 12:11

I had a note in my bible next to this verse: "beauty from pain." It always intrigues me how The Lord brings the same passages into my life during similar seasons. I am learning patience and endurance. I was officially away from Sam a total of 47 hours. I'm so thankful for my mom being able to stay with us so that Nate can come back and forth from home to the hospital. It's been nice having my mom come visit with me too. I can't speak for very long because I get sore and tired, but I am getting better!

My calcium level dropped yesterday enough to keep me in the hospital one more night. I had tingling and numbness in my hands and face. It was creeping up my arms and down my neck. It got really exciting when my fingers started cramping and twitching involuntarily. I was given IV calcium since the chewable tablets weren't cutting it. Thankfully my levels came back up this morning.

Some of the tingling unfortunately returned this morning, so the doctor is keeping me through the afternoon. Please pray that the blood levels have either gone up or stayed the same. I have not had to have IV calcium again (yay!), and the tingling has subsided except for a little in my fingers. I've been drinking milk and eating yogurt to help boost my intake.

Thanks again for all the encouragement! Sam is doing great with Nate and my mom. They came by and spent some time with me in the "Healing Garden" at the hospital. It's beautiful outside and Sam was so snugly and sweet. Also, other than being sore, I haven't really had any pain and my voice is normal! Hooray!

Love,
Beth

Hypocalcemia

"So I went down to the potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter's hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good for the potter to do."

Jeremiah 18:3-4

Just as God spoke through Jeremiah to the nation of Israel that He would reshape her how he saw best, I feel I am constantly being reshaped. I've loved this passage since I was attending Simpson College (now university) back in 2000. I remember from a ceramics class in high school that, even though something in progress may start out looking great, sometimes the clay needs to be reshaped. Especially when it's not cooperating. 

While my thyroid gland looked pretty good, there was a growth, a change that was unacceptable. The surgery to remove all of it went "perfect," but I am having some minor (expected) complications today. The little-tiny-half-size-of-a-grain-of-rice Parathyroids are acting up. They regulate the calcium levels in the body which is not only needed for bones, but also it's important for proper muscle function, especially the heart. 

This is a very common side effect after a total thyroidectomy, but since my calcium levels dipped, I have to take supplements today and be retested this afternoon. It also feels like my face, tongue and arms are constantly tingling, like that feeling when your leg falls asleep and starts to wake back up. 

Please pray that my levels are back in the normal range, or at least acceptable enough to let me go home today. 

Thank you for praying!

Love,

Beth

Post-Surgical Midnight Update

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven"

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Well, here I am in the hospital. Of course, I'm having trouble sleeping. Partly due to my roommate in the next bed channel surfing between sports, talk, and 40's music on various AM radio stations (I'm sure she needs it to sleep, and it reminds me of being a kid staying the night at my grandma's house, plus I'm probably waking her up every 2 hours when I use the restroom), the children that sound like Sam crying in the hall, and just plain being away from my favorite boys in an uncomfortable bed with tubes all around me. I dislike being a patient, but I'm glad I get to go home tomorrow. 

After my surgery was delayed about an hour and a half, it went rather quick. Though, I was unconscious, so it went faster for me than anyone else! The doctor walked into the recovery room and stated "you're cured!" and said the surgery went "perfect!" That was so encouraging to hear while in my super groggy state. I felt like I smiled, but it could have been a slow blink. He did remove a couple lymph nodes to send to pathology, but said he did not see any other worrisome spots on the thyroid gland itself. My incision is smaller and lower than I anticipated, so that is a positive too. 

Please pray for quick healing so I can hug my family soon and for all the lymph nodes to come back benign!

Thank you again for your prayer, encouragement, and love. Nate and I feel so blessed to have you in our life. 

Love,

(A very sleepy) Beth

One More Request

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Hebrews 11:1

Please pray for a total removal of the nodule, that it is its own little entity, and that it has not affected any lymph nodes, or spread to any other part of my thyroid gland.  My super-amazing boss informed me that there is a slight chance I may not need the radioactive iodine if that is the case.  I'd really prefer to not have to take it!  I know that bridge will be crossed once the pathology report comes back after surgery, but please pray.

Love,
Beth

Don't put it off...

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Matthew 6:34

I have seen a neck surgeon and a general surgeon since my last post. In a nutshell, we were less than impressed by the neck surgeon's bedside manner and explanation of what needs to be done surgically. The general surgeon was incredibly helpful, listened to all of our questions, and patiently answered the most ridiculous ones. Even though they both told us the same surprising news that I cannot have a partial thyroidectomy, but I need a total instead. Delivery is key no matter how "non-cancer" this cancer is!

I had my consultation with him two days ago, his office called me yesterday and the surgery is scheduled this Monday, February 10th! Why put it off?! Nate has a holiday weekend next week, so this works best with our schedule. Also, getting it done this fast does not give us time to worry or "be anxious for tomorrow." I know I am in good hands, partially because I've seen this doctor for another issue in the past, and also because the Oncologist I work for sends all of our patients to him. He has a wonderful reputation in our community, and I feel very fortunate that he's especially skilled in Thyroidectomy surgery.

I had my pre-operative appointment this morning at the hospital. My dear friend Ann was able to drive down to take care of Sam so that Nate could go to work and get things in order to be off a few days next week. My mom will be staying at our house Monday night to help Nate with Sam. We also chose to have the surgery at the closest hospital, a 4 minute drive from our house! I do not want any visitors. My stay will be incredibly short, so emails and text messages are appreciated! No phone calls please, as my voice may be hoarse for a little bit from the surgery.

Current prayer requests:

1. We continue to trust the outcome to God's capable hands, knowing that He has a plan for all of this!

2. That I will be able to enjoy this weekend with Nate & Sam without being too distracted by what is going to happen on Monday afternoon. It still hasn't hit me that I am having surgery in three days!

3. Wisdom in post-operative decisions. Since I am having a total thyroidectomy, I have to take radioactive iodine, and our concern with that is me having to be "isolated" for a week. While adults of non-childbearing age can be around me, no closer than arms reach, for less than an hour at a time, I will not be allowed within close proximity of Sam for a week, which means he and Nate will probably be staying at a friend's, or I may stay with family. The longest I've ever been away from Nate at once was 5 days (since the day we met!). Also, prayer for the after effects from the radioactive iodine, and when/if we have another child.

4. Lastly, that Monday night I will not be anxious about not being home to care for my husband and child. I always thought my first night away from Sam would be for Nate and my anniversary in April!

Thank you for all your love and encouragement! We are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Love,
Beth