A Change in Consult Date

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6

It's so easy to doubt.  Kind of like frowning.  I've heard that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.  Even though I'm a generally smiley person, I've been known to frown.  Just because it takes more effort, doesn't mean I don't do it.  Which is silly.  That's what doubting is, it's like frowning when it's easier to smile.  It's choosing to not have faith when God has opened the door and made it obvious that He's prepared a way, and gone before so many times already.  Still...  I frown, and doubt, and whine.  I'm so glad that God is patient and always forgiving.

On Friday I called the ear, nose and throat office that was offered as a second option when I was originally given my diagnosis.  I will see them this Tuesday, January 28th.  I kept my appointment on February 5th with the general surgeon in case I am uncomfortable with the ENT for some reason.  It's always good to have options, and to get as much of the picture as possible.  I am so grateful that even though the options in our small community are limited, they are good options.  God has placed talented, knowledgeable doctors here.  I'm glad to know many of them, and to know so many people that know so many of them.

Nate and I have been so covered in prayer and provision in the last 10 days!  At church this morning, every one of our friends and church staff that we saw either stopped to talk to us or to at least say "we are praying for you."  We had the opportunity to pray with our pastor after the service.  He is going through a similar trial, and we are so blessed to be surrounded by people that we love that love us back!

Current prayer requests:

1. That we would glorify God in this trial and be able to encourage those around us.

2. Communication between Nate & me.  There will be a lot of decisions made in the coming days and weeks, and we need to be on the same page.  Please pray that we communicate effectively and without (too much) frustration.

3. Wisdom in our decisions.  We will need to decide who will perform my surgery, when and where.

4. Rest for all of us.  My mom as she worries about me (her baby), Nate as he worries about me (his wife), and me so that I don't get sick before surgery, and that I don't worry about Nate, Sam, my mom or anyone else that is worried about me!  Peace of mind and clarity during this time is such a blessing.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers!
Love,
Beth, Nate & Sam

Encouragement and the "non-cancer"

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

This is one of my favorite verses of all time. The day before I took my state exam to become an RN, I spent some time at the beach praying and reading God's word. I found the verse drawn into the sand dune I had been sitting on when I left. I don't always hear or notice when God speaks to me, but that was one of those trials where He told me ahead of time to cling tighter to Him. This verse has come up a few times in the last few weeks and every time I hear or see it I am taken back to that sand dune and I know that rough waters may be ahead, but God is our faithful protector!

Nate and I were able to sit down with friends yesterday evening who just went through a very similar trial in November. She was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had surgery, and she is doing great. I was able to ask a few questions that I would have otherwise had to wait until February 5th to ask. They were so encouraging and positive that Nate and I left our visit with them with a little lighter step.

One thing my Nurse Practioner told me before I had my biopsy was "if this turns out to be cancer, if you ever had to choose a cancer to get, thyroid cancer would be the one. It is typically very easy to treat." Our friend last night even described it as a "non-cancer" and to tell people I have a nodule on my thyroid (which is really what it is).  I do want your prayers through this time, but please don't think I'm going to die tomorrow from this. I was even encouraged to wait a little bit so that we can manage time off for Nate and maybe even have Sam weaned before we move forward with surgery. Of course, we will know more after visiting the surgeon, but God has continued to give us His peace, and plenty sources of encouragement.

After talking to our friends, the biggest challenge I still see is taking care of Sam. He is around 25 pounds and I will probably not be able to lift over ten pounds for about three weeks after surgery (this is based on our friend's experience), and he has been exceptionally clingy to me lately. Of course I love the snuggles, but it makes me sad to think I won't be allowed to lift him for a while. Please pray against the lie that he will have some sort of detachment disorder later in life because of this! I know he won't, but moms worry, and being a nurse doesn't help! (If you only knew the crazy "what ifs" that creep into my head every day, you'd probably want my head checked!)

I cannot begin to express the gratitude Nate and I have for all of you. Your support and encouragement is a huge blessing.

Love,
Beth

Steadfast Love Endures

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures for ever!" 

Psalm 107:1

I read this verse on January 11, 2014.  It dawned on me at that moment that the Lord kept repeating the words "steadfast love" through the scriptures I was reading for many days in a row.  Five days later I was diagnosed with a papillary carcinoma of the thyroid, also known as thyroid cancer.

This blog is to share my journey with family and friends, as my husband and I navigate the road that the Lord has prepared for us.  He is steadfast and constant in all He does.  Love is an action that God repeatedly calls us to commit, and His love is the ultimate standard of what it means to be unconditional and steadfast.  I am so thankful!

This particular adventure began for us when I went from losing all the weight I gained while pregnant with Sam, to losing more than double that amount.  I went to see my nurse practitioner on December 26th to make sure that there wasn't anything glaringly obvious with my health.  I have nursed Sam since he was born, and he has some food allergies so that meant some big adjustments to my diet.  Well, the weight loss has been attributed to only those things... diet & nursing!  I am thankful for that, but I am also thankful that it made me get checked out.

The only abnormal lab values were the thyroid antibodies that the Nurse Practitioner ordered.  This prompted her to order an ultrasound of my thyroid as a precaution in which a nodule measuring 1.4 centimeters was found on the upper left part of my thyroid gland.  Most nodules on the thyroid are harmless, but again, as a precaution, she ordered a fine needle aspiration biopsy (basically a simple procedure to test some of the cells in the nodule to see if it was cancerous).  I received a phone call on January 16th that the biopsy came back positive for papillary carcinoma of the thyroid.  While the prognosis is good for this type of cancer, a diagnosis of the "big C" is scary. Always.

My Nurse Practitioner called me immediately after hanging up with the pathologist because she knew that I often have my results sent to my office so that I can view them.  Thankfully I hadn't done that this time, because it would have been difficult knowing that my co-workers found out before I did.  She informed me that the type of thyroid cancer I have is not aggressive, and that it should be cured by removal of the tumor and part of my thyroid gland.  I should not need to go through radiation or chemotherapy, and I may need to go on a thyroid medication afterward.  She submitted my referral to the surgeon as "urgent" and explained to me that it was not necessarily urgent in the sense that it needed to be done tomorrow, but she did not want me to have to wait six months to be seen.  I will have a consultation with the surgeon on February 5th.

I will try to update this blog as Nate and I get information, process through the diagnosis and potential fears, and as we prepare for surgery and what that will look like for our family.  Please pray that we will not be anxious, and that we will continue to trust the Lord in His provision!

Thank you for joining us in this journey.  We know that God is already at the end of the road, waiting with His gracious arms open wide to receive us weary, but hopefully stronger, at the end!

Trusting in His steadfast love,

Beth